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"...fell down the stairs and died in the basement." [entries|friends|calendar]
(enter name here)

[ website | Loveless Losers ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[29 Sep 2004|08:36pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Here is a brief tutorial I made for confused_one6, because he's so down. Cheer up... user icons! Look!

I wonder if this will work.Collapse )
I can't sleep...

2 Deaths|Go down into the basement

[21 Sep 2004|01:08pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

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Haven't updated in a while...

Problems with Mum. Again.

Ever been tempted to steal? I haven't, or in least I wasn't until I got seriously poor. But I never have. Today, I watched a person steal from my local library. I'd just left my mother (with money), and I wanted somewhere to calm down, so I went to the local library to watch people. Yes, I'm a freak. I know. Anyway, I see this girl with an old book, and I'm just watching her, and then she just slips the book into her bag and walks off. Didn't sign it out, I know- I was watching. I felt so mad, looking at her I knew she wasn't poor. I know there's not a lot I can do, but if I see her again, I'm going to point her out. Selfish people like that make me so furious- the very fact she stole it means she didn't deserve it.

I'm in a really bad mood.

P.s. For snebold: This song features a phone.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Banana phone...



2 Deaths|Go down into the basement

Hear my prayers. [10 Sep 2004|09:52am]
[ mood | scared ]

</font>
I screwed up today. May lose my job.

That's all.

7 Deaths|Go down into the basement

Guilt is a terrible thing. [07 Sep 2004|09:17am]
[ mood | cold ]

The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz
The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz


The girl, the reason etc.Collapse )

I'm such a fool... there I am wondering why my Chiller font wont represent on my home computer, and I have a Mac, which doesn't load Chiller because it's a PC font.

Idiot...
1 Death|Go down into the basement

[02 Sep 2004|03:21pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Depression
Depresion - No-one really likes you. You hate the
world and will never be accepted. People always
judge you and that may be how you got this way.
You may be too late to help...


What emotion are you? {With pictures!}
brought to you by Quizilla

I am having an argument with confused_one6 over whether or not I am nobody... I refuse to believe this is something I have to prove. That's just stupid.

And soon I will post a picture I have drawn for disturbedjackal...

But today, something incredible happened. I mean, so odd I can't even describe. The girl at the supermarket gave me a small badge. She simply said "Hey 'YES PLEASE' BOY! Here you go!" and tossed it at me. This is amazing and has never ever happened... thankfully I actually managed to smile and say thanks after I'd looked at it. And I didn't mutter or stutter either! I don't believe it! The pin reads 'Too shy to ask.' I guess my blushing was a little obvious. Am I pathetic to be happy about this tiny insignificant thing? Of course! But it doesn't matter. Holding this badge in my palm I feel invincible. I feel as though I could be called all the names in the world and battered and I'd still smile. And before anyone comments, this had ever happened before. EVER. I feel like I'm dreaming. And it's so odd, that it should open just as I start this account. The perfect place to (and there is no other word for it) gush. I haven't been so happy in a long time... I wonder if she knows? And still even though I'm nervous, it's a good nervousness. I must have looked like an absolute prick standing there smiling at my own hand. I'm certain the woman at the cash register was staring. I don't even know what the stupid little thing is meant to imply but right now it doesn't matter. I want to freeze his moment perfectly and stay here forever...

6 Deaths|Go down into the basement

Smiling through the darkness... [31 Aug 2004|01:43pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Alone
Why do you cry?

brought to you by Quizilla

This is a surprisingly good one...

And here, a poem I wrote when I was quite young (I am not old now, but no longer fifteen).

My homeCollapse )

6 Deaths|Go down into the basement

[28 Aug 2004|12:53am]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

HASH(0x8bbc754)
You're Sadako of Ring!


Which Beautiful Asian Horror Ghost are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, it sounds like me I suppose.

Today I have been feeling unwell... I woke up this morning with a huge red swelling by my left eye. I think I might have slept funny, though my head was on my pillow when I awoke... And the bruises on my wrists have begun to hurt again. I am in such constant poor health I already had a cream to rub on them, but I don't know what to do about my eye. It seems to have gone down a bit. I think I'll leave it.

Today I went out and did a very stupid thing. A girl complimented my hair (I guess she thought I'd dyed it) and instead of answering her 'Thank you', I said 'yes please'. Then my eye wasn't the only red part of my face. I don't think I can go back there.

I went into a charity shop and bought a new white shirt. I could see people staring from the street... people like me don't often go into charity shops to buy clothes. Or maybe they do. I can't afford first-hand clothes so I don't have a choice. There was a blue jacket in there that I wanted, but it was too big for me. I am tempted to buy it anyway.

did not have a very interesting day... still thinking about that girl. I wish I hadn't been so stupid. She laughed at me. I wish I'd just smiled and said thank you like a normal person. Perhaps she is at home with her boyfriend and friends and telling him about me, and they're all laughing. It just goes to show- the person I am, I have no one to tell, so I'm telling people that I can't see me. I'm like the stereotype of an internet freak with no friends. But I don't even know that much about computers.

My wrists have started hurting from my typing. I'm going to put cream on them.

Also- I came across brandonmcw by accident. This was the last entry... It seems so much like how I feel... I have friended him because of it.


"So cold so frigid is this place, once more I am lost left to dream of someone to hold, someone who could care enoth
[sic] to notice me. I wish I was not alone. no-one hears the screams, the pain is so deep."

12 Deaths|Go down into the basement

A first entry... [25 Aug 2004|04:01pm]
[ mood | content ]

To cover the black spot.

My thought... I confess I have many thoughts, which I believe arises from the fact I have no one to talk to. I am what I am, a recluse who spends much time meditating over the world at large. And why should I not?

My first thought is to people, and their inane arguments. I witnessed an argument not long ago, between a parent and child. It seemed totally pointless. Were I not hidden from view I might have ventured out to speak with them a little, but no. Their argument seemed to be over a dress; the mother thought the child spoilt and refuse to buy it for her, while the child angrily gestured to the one she wore, which had a large hole in it. I felt quite sorry for them both.

I am very cold... is is raining outside and the sky is grey. I like this since I am so often grey but I do not like the temperature. The sun nearly broke the clouds there, that might have been nice. From my tiny little window I can see people passing by, shopping. There are many tourists here.

I was in a video shop today and I ask the man behind the counter what he advised I rent. He asked me my interests, to which I answered that I had no interests. He asked me what I watched on TV and I answered him, that I don't usually use mine. He seemed surprised. at the end he showed me a movie he liked, called 'se7en'. I rented it.

I felt a little strange after watching it... the killer lead as bleak a life as my own. But I cannot help that.

P.s. I have just noticed the irony of my own words- despite the fact I claimed to have no interests I have succeeded in filling the 'interests' bit on my main page. I am such a liar.

9 Deaths|Go down into the basement

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